Friday, January 15, 2010

Abused women tell me if I hit the nail on the head.?

The Beautiful Woman





I put on my make-up trying not to wake him.





Better be sure to hide the bruise on my chin.





Baby sitter won't come over, she is afraid of him too.





I can't believe all the **** I've went through.





I burst into tears at every stop light.





Thinking about what I shouldn't of said lastnight.





As I get to work the phone is ringing.





I hope and pray that it aint him promising me another beating.





I pick up the phone with a deep breath.





I feel a chill run down my spine like I just saw death.





I let out a sigh of relief as my prayers are answered.





Somebody has shot and killed that damn bastard.





I pay off the hit man when the day is done.





Now I can go home without my gun.Abused women tell me if I hit the nail on the head.?
As a survivor of domestic abuse I felt a chill come over me when I read this. You got the feelings of fear, doubt and second guessing yourself down perfectly. I have to be honest and tell you the ending shocked me but a small piece of my heart that says ';Never forgive'; cheered even though that is something I could never have done myself. Kudos for this poem!Abused women tell me if I hit the nail on the head.?
Well, I am lucky not to be an abused woman, but can I answer just the same?


I always imagine this kind of situation as very ordinary and sordid, but not spectacular like the end of your poem. I find it too far-fetched. Most abused women don't hire somebody to kill their husband / partner, and unfortunately they suffer in silence because it is difficult for them to leave him, especially if they have kids.


Do you see what I mean?
I'm not abused either man that poem was really good. I love the way the things flowed and i think you should keep on writing. I loved the ending, she gut a hit man to go after him. But that would arouse a lot of other questions like if fear was keeping her from doing that from he beginning. Whatever, that was great. keep writing.

No comments:

Post a Comment